************************************************************************* * __ __ * * _____ ____ ____ ______/ |_____ ____ ___ ______/ |___________ * * \__ \/ \ / __ \/ ___\ __\ \ _ \/ \/ ___\ __/__ \_ __ \ * * / __ \_ | \ /_/ >\__ \| | Y Y \<_> ) | \__ \| |\ ___/| | \/ * * (____ /_| /___ /____ >|__|__|_| /___/__| /___ >|__| \__ \|__| * * \/ \/____/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ * * 7.25.02 angstmonster issue 0 * ************************************************************************* ¡written and edited (poorly) by gir¡ When being angsty on livejournal isn't enough... ¡contents¡ Making Stuff Is Fun In A Box Alot of Screaming and Stuff I Started This As Something Else My Mommentary Sunrise Got Soggy In Milk ################ # Making Stuff # # Is Fun # # In a Box # ################ For awhile I've had my own lil slice of the internet known as angstmonster.org and had all these really neat ideas as far as content goes for it but due to my lack of html skills, I never really got passed designing some sort of neat layout and the whole time these ideas I keep getting float around in my head and never materialize into any sort of substance that I can spread like a dirty virus to anyone who'd be interested either way. When I had a friend come visit me recently, I thought it'd be cool to make a zine with her for release at H2K2 because a big event like that would be a great place to distribute anything. (For quite sometime, I've found it more fun to make a print zine/rag/ collection of rant thingies because the art of cut and tape is so fun!) That idea got put on hold because we ran out of time and didn't have the money to make enough copies. All the neat ideas about making something and adding to a collection of texts online sounded like a cool idea but that's not why this all gelled in my head. No, the reason and inspiration for this is a skate video called "PJ Ladd's Wonderful Horrible Life." A good friend of mine who is all the rave amongs groups of skaters in the Richmond,Va area turned me on to the video because of how impressed he was with PJ Ladd's skateboarding. As it goes the skateboarding world was turned upside down when this video was released (two months ago I think) and people watched this kid bust moves that were some of the most difficult in skating. (I'm not sure how accurate that is, but the kid and the video impressed me.) In fact, the video impressed me so much that I was bummed and angered with myself not creating something, basking in the arts I enjoyed so much like so many skaters do day in and day out without thinking twice. All worked up about wondering what it must be like to eat and breathe, sleep and dream so passionately about something that it takes you to new levels of creating in that giving thing. Maybe that's a little bit of an over ambitious vision for anything made at 4am, but I'm making something and that's enough of a pleasure for me, that I don't care how shitty it sounds. ############### # Alot of # # Screaming # # And Stuff # ############### Punk music is hecka cool and sometimes I wish I was in a punk band. I catch myself singing little bits and pieces of lyrics to myself all the time even thought I don't have a band or much musical talent in the way of conventional noisemaking. So here are some bits and pieces of lyrics to take up space. freezer aisle. wake up, get outta bed gotta move ahead people to cheat all the while tapping to the beat of a song, that's never wrong when it says life's just a game to be played just like anyone involved sincerity, sincerity just another calamity when you wake up just another technicality day to day drive that big ol gas guzzler to your cushy cubicle you hate to your secretaries place so long as you beat everyone else in that stupid race sincerity, sincerity just another calamity when you wake up just another technicality day to day cuddle the kinder in daily breaded lessons repressin any thought that their school might've missed "It's ok" you say, "To kill the poor, we don't need them anymore!" "As for the rest, greed suits us best!" (But remember to always share!) sincerity, sincerity just another calamity when you wake up just another technicality day to day sincerity, sincerity just another calamity when you wake up just another technicality day to day bland reality. stale vanilla flavoring on the graduation cake another chance to be a star another mistake why'd they go and make another one of them shows dabbling in the mindless chatter every character the same as the last (somebody please give me a chance,) another complex to get past (i want to be a star) with their less than hip styles (my life is so just like a tv show) the types who's life's for hire (but it doesn't matter to me) waiting for their intelligence to expire (i just wanna be the queen) so what does it mean for you to be on tv? that gleaming in your eyes, lusting after another sitcom no surprise involved with the plot but it doesn't take much for added brain rot to overthrow an audience who should've given up on cable tv a long time ago ever feel you're being watched? and the object of the game is to make your life so boring that you'll settle for being a spectator? if so salute to the camera in the sky every time your girlfriend cries cause it's another rating through the roof so long as everyone else isn't to busy with their money shot to remember our time slot if we're being watched... ##################### # I Started This # # As Something Else # ##################### Lately I've been thinking in the spirit of how much there is to do with life and how everyone should do what they believe is the coolest thing for them to do but also go out and do EVERYTHING that seems cool they might want to do. Consider the average lifespan and then consider how boring looking back it would be to see yourself (or anyone else) stuck in the same thing for all that time. Yeah it's really cool to find things that we enjoy and do them our whole lives but why just do one thing, why not do them all? Don't be afraid to do something in addition to learning more and honing the craft/hobby/etc that you've mastered. But there are plenty of people out and about in life already doing this and I'm just blowing steam in moving myself along to the idea that maybe in allowing for more than one pleasure and thing to do in life, in certain circles and scenes, people should allow for more diversity. The power of subcultures is bringing a lot of varied and different people together under on general idea or belief. While their opinions may clash on other issues, it's the one central issue that makes them a strong group of whatever they may be. Like the opinions of all of a people in a subculture, their talents in aiding the culture to grow and expand vary. Thus to allow for people in a "scene" to do what they do best is a way to allow for growth. Growth is usually a good thing, or at least keeping things inclusive and not exclusive. If people are passionate and really dig what they do, wouldn't it make sense that others might enjoy it to and that sharing it with them others would be really cool and a chance to add on to the greatness and neat things about the culture/group/scene? It's always bothered me that people who've been around and involved in something will begin to shit all over people new to the something because the person is new. no one can help being a newbie (aside from avoiding certain things that tend to annoy people) and yet the newbies still get shit on. Maybe it's just a mindset of belonging to a group that's mentality never grows up... Rather than waving a big floppy dick of arrogance around because you know someone knows less than you, fucking help them out. Take the time to show a person something you really appreciate about the thing he/she is getting involved in. There are moments when a person can remember the things that pulled and attracted them to a movement or feeling and express that moment in their teaching and sharing. To teach someone one fact or bit of information isn't enough though, to teach someone how to teach themselves to do something or learn the way to learn the most potently, that's what should take hold of us and push us to share things... In any given movement, the desire to learn more and get the most out of what is learned should strengthen the movement endlessly. But that only works if people are willing to teach. And for the unwilling members of a culture? We can send them a resounding "Fuck You" for not wanting to help out but for whatever reason, people think being exclusive is the only way to keep the heard trimmed to the bestest of the best. That can work sometimes, but holding out too long will end up in a sick flock. Most of the times, people can't be stopped and if someone decides to tag along in your subculture of choice, let it pass until he realizes this wasn't what everyone said it'd be. Those sorts of people who grab on to the trends still serve a purpose, more often than not they are the ones everyone else makes fun of. That's still a niche for them to fill. But what if someone latches on to a group and doesn't fit the norms of contributing the way everyone feels they should? What if people start causing trouble and there's lives being affected and changed as a result of the actions of someone who others think don't belong? That's the nature of a culture and if someone isn't willing to consider and accept it, perhaps he should reconsider the way things are. Different people coming together under the banner of one idea really does mean that all sorts of people may show up to your monthly meeting of subversion and be so subversive that it leaves everyone else at the meeting dumbfounded. It may happen. And if people aren't careful in willing to accept such things, a lot of rifts could spring up in their precious cultures that mean ever so much to them and suffocate it. Taking into account that what goes on throughout a subculture affects everyone involved, people should consider their actions and attitudes that follow them into the culture. When events cause friction, it shouldn't be denied and not be allowed to affect people. There shouldn't be a whole mess of negative floating around in a group that already has a stigma as far as onlookers are concerned. When shit happens internally, it shouldn't be turned into some voyeuristic episode for everyone to spectate and enjoy like trash television or news. As much as we put into the things we believe, isn't it enough to not bicker so much internally and revel in the strength of a community and delight in where it can go? But maybe going off about such things on the fly is just as bad. All the same, there's something to think about. ##################### # My Momentary # # Sunrise # # Got Soggy in Milk # ##################### Soon enough, this'll all be over and the more I poke at the inner workings of my tiring brain, I'll remember all the little bits of tfile style I've made in the past and how somehow, this ended like that, but enough of me is too much for anyone. That in mind, it never hurts to contribute to the things that interest you. (Even if it sucks at first, throw your opinion in to make it suck a little less.) Always, to jump ahead of the what is and now, I told someone that if she wanted to contribute the idea of this creation was to share things with your friends. Whether it be rants and raves, poetry and prose, recipes and FAQ's, howtos and step by steps, it'd be nice to have a bunch of exchange of no sort what so ever going on. Whenever I've done something like this, I'm always asked what it's about, or someone is searching for a theme. Why does there have to be one at all? There's enough people in the world, online, and occasionally browsing the things I make that the diversity might meld together and create a lil culture of sharing. Sharing is so hecka cool. Like all the other things we were supposed to do when we were little and then abandon it for something more promising like profit. (Why shouldn't we be sharing more of our profits with friends and people who are friendly?) Giving when you can, to someone or something you believe in is a whole lot better than wishing you had done something but never do. Sitting around all day in a lonely room in front of a computer with a bunch of great intentions to do things, is still just sitting around. But unlike most, I think that reaching out to the unknown void of reality and other sorta reality like moments is when the person sitting in front of his computer all day takes a chance and attempts to change things. When someone says that's not enough, BULLSHIT! It's not enough to do it once, or to not give everyone a chance to respond. Lack of initial response isn't enough of a reason to give up! When someone steps out into the unknown, it's for their own reasons and the sounds of the crowd roaring with agreement or disapproval should not stop the next step, further into it all... It's a matter of doing as much as you can to keep yourself amused and making some friends along the way, so the trip into the unknown isn't as boring or lonely... ¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿? What you have just read was a step into the unknown spontaneous and poorly edited thoughts for sharing collectively known as "Angstmonster." All thoughts on the matter can be sent to or you can just visit the site http://www.angstmonster.org and see what you think. (But I won't promise any content to anyone.) Thanks and enjoy your day... copyright 2002 issue 0 angstmonster.org 7.25.02 Feel free to redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. (and stuff)